The hidden struggles of the sandwich generation

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The burdens of nan "sandwich generation"

The mounting pressures connected those caring for some aging parents and young children 07:43

Between now and 2030, astir 10,000 Americans will move 65 each azygous day, highlighting a increasing interest astir nan nation's preparedness for elder attraction often falling connected nan shoulders of their big children. This has fixed emergence to a word known arsenic nan "sandwich generation," defined arsenic adults who find themselves caring for their aging parents while still raising their ain children.

Lisa Ling is simply a CBS News contributor and portion of nan sandwich procreation herself. Ling's family is portion of astir 80 cardinal Americans taking attraction of children and our aged parents astatine nan aforesaid time. 

Ling's husband, Paul, typically helps get their 2 young daughters fresh for school. However, connected immoderate days, he rushes to assistance his 92-year-old mother, Grace, pinch her aesculapian appointments. She has faced respective trips to nan emergency room and and rehabilitation stays successful caller months. Mornings, Ling said, are often "hectic" successful their location arsenic they juggle nan responsibilities of taking attraction of parents and children.

"At a definite point, your parents go for illustration kids," Ling said.

Lauren Shin is different caregiver. Since her parents moved successful pinch her successful 2017, Shin has navigated nan complexities of her mother's deteriorating wellness and eventual Alzheimer's illness test while raising 2 young children. 

"In nan first fewer months, it was still okay. It conscionable seemed for illustration a batch of delirium talking from her, but past location was a switch. She would show maine to unopen up pinch profanity words. Sometimes she would look astatine maine arsenic if she could termination pinch her eyes, and I would opportunity something, and she'd beryllium like, you don't cognize what you're talking about," said Shin.

Alzheimer's illness tin lead to delusions and sometimes convulsive behavior, according to wellness experts, which makes attraction challenging. At first, it was Shin's begetter who took it on, spoon-feeding her and talking to her.

"There was not a infinitesimal that he wasn't by her side," Shin said.

After 2 years, her mother's information continued to decline. But it wasn't until Shin gave commencement to her 2nd kid that she knew thing had to change.

 "It was hard. I had postpartum. I was trying to heal and return attraction of a newborn and a 6-year-old, and I didn't cognize really to grip each that astatine first. So it was a batch of nights of screaming and crying into my pillow," said Shin.

Shin's family decided it would beryllium amended and safer for if her mother could move into a representation attraction facility. They recovered what they were looking for an hr distant successful Anaheim, California, wherever nan mostly of nan residents are Korean American, for illustration Shin's mother. Shin said her mother has adjusted to nan location and has made friends, but nan first fewer months were hard.

"I heard she was screaming for my dad, and past a displacement happened, and they said this would happen. And she met immoderate friends that she ever hangs retired pinch and sits pinch and eats with," Shin said. 

The move was partially financed done California's Medicaid program, called Medi-Cal, which supports individuals pinch small to nary income. In galore states, costs for representation attraction accommodation tin transcend $10,000 per period retired of pocket.

Nicole Jorwic from nan statement Caring Across Generations warned that not everyone should expect Medicaid to screen specified accommodation owed to agelong waitlists and stringent financial qualifications. Jorwic said nan waitlist is complete 750,000 group long.

"States tin limit really galore group they're gonna serve. And besides nan national authorities has limits astir really overmuch money group tin person successful bid to person those services. So Medicaid really requires group to walk down their assets aliases ... stay successful poorness successful bid to access, semipermanent care," said Jorwic.

Meanwhile, Ling's family has been fortunate to support Paul's mother astatine home, while Ling's ain begetter spent his last days successful a installation funded by his authorities pension and savings, which would person only lasted 2 much years.

Shin and her family are grateful to person recovered a safe spot for her mom. But arsenic a sandwich caregiver, Shin still has young kids and an aging begetter astatine home. However, she said she has dream that things will amended and offered proposal for those successful her situation.

 "It does get better," she said. "The kids will get older, they will go a small spot much self-sufficient, and they won't request you arsenic much. And nan elderly, I conscionable want group to cognize they don't want to beryllium nan ones needing thief either. And this is my move to springiness backmost for each their difficult work."

Caregiving Resources:

  • Caring Across Generations
  • National Alliance for Caregiving
  • Rosalynn Carter Institute connected Caregiving
  • HFC
  • National Council connected Aging
  • Justice successful Aging

The caller "CBS Mornings" bid "Cost of Caregiving" explores nan challenges of caring for America's aging population. While immoderate person made nan difficult determination to move their aging parents into a facility, for many, this action is retired of scope owed to affordability, qualification criteria, aliases constricted readiness astatine these facilities. Tune successful for much connected this taxable this Thursday.

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Source cbsnews.com
cbsnews.com